The first window of experience is acceptance. It is a wide and beautiful window to experience, with impressive precedents. Jesus said to accept and love the sinner while you condemn the sin. The is acceptance. Buddha said we must accept and love the sinner and know that sinning is simply a part of life. That is acceptance. If we realize that neither Jesus nor Buddha were passive beings, that they were in fact passionately confrontative beings, then we begin to sense the vitality of acceptance. It is not simply a matter of being resigned or forgiving. It is instead an active part of love and nature. Unable to accept, we are unable to know ourselves.
We accept so that we may go on to experience with the other without the estrangement of judgment. Blaming others for being who they are ends meaningful relationships. Criminals should be judged, not lovers or friends. Judgment separates us from further experience. Judgmentalism is clearly the polar opposite of acceptance and ultimately engenders self-diminishment.
Taken from: The Windows of Experience by Malone and Malone.
Jake Thiessen, PhD
I've been working with couples for a very long time. And, I love it! This blog is my attempt to communicate some of the things I've learned over the past 40 years.