Couple Therapy

Because change is more likely to occur relationally than intellectually, couple therapy offers an excellent opportunity to alter one's life circumstances. Change often depends on our feeling accepted as we are. This acceptance creates the safe environment necessary meaningful, deep change. Acceptance has to do with experiencing unconditional love in a relationship. We want to feel that however messed up we may be, we are still worthwhile, valuable human beings, deserving of love and respect. We want to experience this feeling with our partner despite the fact that we may not feel it to be true within ourselves.

If we say to our partners that we will love and respect them if they change, then they are likely to feel that they have to stay the same. They have no choice. They must continue struggling against our judgment in order to maintain a sense of personal integrity. This is why feeling accepted as we are is the foundation of becoming a fully realized person. It gives us the freedom to choose to change, not because someone else wants us to, but for our own growth and fulfillment.
Most of us want two important things... the opportunity to be fully ourselves and the chance to be deeply related to someone. 

Trying to deal with this, we tend to gain our individuality at the expense of being related. On the other hand, we often gain a feeling of relatedness at the expense of our individuality. Trading one for the other almost guarantees a loss of intimacy and wholeness.

In a successful relationship the paradox of being both separate and related exists comfortably without giving in to confusion, anger or fear.
Couple therapy is not two individuals in therapy at the same time.  Rather, it's a relationship that's in therapy and two individuals show up as its representatives.

Goal of Couple
​ Therapy

Perhaps the most important goal of couples therapy is to encourage two people to connect meaningfully without losing their independence--their sense of self--to accept each other fully while accepting themselves fully. In other words, the goal is to achieve separateness and relatedness at the same time.

Couple therapy can be an essential tool in achieving and maintaining this important balance.

What Happens in Couple Therapy

Couple therapy offers a structured environment within which partners can develop a mutual understanding of their relational history including the patterns of behavior that hinder the development of a satisfying relationship. In addition, partners can explore what motivates them toward or away from emotional and/or physical intimacy. Each partner will also be offered the opportunity to develop an understanding of his/her contribution to the difficulties being addressed.

Problems Addressed

  • Differences in Values
  • Communication Difficulties
  • Infidelity
  • Parenting
  • ​Infertility
  • Sexual Dissatisfaction
  • Lack of Intimacy
  • Spiritual Growth as a Couple

CONSIDER A WEEKEND COUPLES INTENSIVE

Infidelity... Meeting it head on.

If you're ready to meet infidelity head on, I have a way to do just that.  It's aim is to create the kind of stability that will allow you to make good decisions about how you move forward.  For more information, click on the button below.