Choosing A Path
Discernment Counseling
Choosing a path--discerning a direction--is essential to living the life you want to live.
Discernment Counseling is not therapy. Rather, it is a time limited (usually no more than five sessions) effort to determine if a couple wants to:
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Continue with their relationship as it is.
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End their relationship and move on with their lives separately.
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Commit themselves to a six month period of time where they put 100% of their effort into building a relationship both can feel good about.
It's an exercise that entails looking at the strengths and weakness of the relationship and evaluating them in a supportive environment. Discernment Counseling allows a couple to consider being together and not being together without judging the appropriateness of one over the other. It's primary goal is to help the couple move through a stuck place and into productive forward movement.
Who benefits from Discernment Counseling?
The couples most likely to benefit from Discernment Counseling are those who are giving serious consideration to divorce but are not completely sure it's the best route for them. Sometimes the move toward divorce develops a momentum of its own. It can escalate rapidly. Discernment Counseling offers an opportunity to put that movement on hold and look at the relationship in a discerning, less emotionally driven way.
Discernment Counseling is not suitable when...
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one spouse has made a final decision to divorce and wants counseling to encourage the other spouse accept that decision.
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there is a danger of domestic violence.
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there is a Protection From Abuse order from the court.
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one spouse is coercing the other to participate.
What happens in Discernment Counseling?
The sessions are typically one and a half to two hours long. They begin with the couple together then move to time with each partner individually. They end with a brief together time again where the session is summarized. Each session is self-contained. There is no commitment to go through all five sessions. Rather, a decision is made after each session whether to pursue an additional session.
During the individual time I will emphasize the importance of each party seeing his or her own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends. Discernment counseling is considered successful when people have clarity and confidence in their decision.
When a decision emerges, I will help you either find professionals who can walk you through a constructive divorce or formulate a reconciliation work plan to create a healthy, successful marriage.