We’ve known this for centuries.  Stephen Bachelor, in his recent book,  Buddha, Socrates and Us: Ethical Living in Uncertain Times,  outlines the process succinctly.  Something happens … a stimulus. That “something” lands in my world. Like most people, I live in a binary world (things are either good or bad). So, I will immediately need to categorize that “something” as good or bad.  My next move will come quickly and will be based on how I’ve categorized the “something.” In other words, I...

Disappointment shows up very early in life. Of course, at the time we don’t know what it is. But, we can feel it when cries from the crib don’t produce the response desperately desired. It’s not until much later that we label the ache that accompanies dashed hopes and expectations as disappointment. Over time, it solidifies as we determine that the thing we desire seems to be entirely reasonable. The gap between this-is-a-reasonable-request and the lack of fulfillment is where disappointment...

My job as a therapist is to receive information (all kinds of information) without reacting to it. I’m supposed to respond as if what I’m...